Life of Lies
by Violette Mai
Summary: Matt's final performace goes out with a blast. The blasts sends him to the deapths of death. Or does it?


This is another wonderful piece of work from me, Violette Mai. And me  
being me, I don't own Digimon. There's a few hints of past usage of  
drugs. And suicide. Read and enjoy this fic. Review too.  
  
Life of Lies  
  
The blonde stood on stage as the main focus of attention. The crowd of  
a thousand people swayed back and forth like a moving sea. Their  
shouts of encouragement, excitement and declarations of love were like  
the sounds of crashing tides. The bright lights on stage shined down  
on the blonde making it hard to see out to his fans. It didn't matter  
to him though, he sung out to the darkness of loneliness and not to  
the people. His voice was heard, but he knew no one understood or paid  
attention to the true meaning. Then again he was slowly was loosing  
the meaning of it all too. He has been singing in this band for years.  
He use to love it, but now it has become so hard to wake up in the  
morning. Not only because of the after affects of drugs and alcohol,  
but the depression that has claimed him. As the most successful rock  
singer he makes loads of money, meets tons of people that claim to  
love him. His friends and family have faded out of his life since he  
can only manage to see them four times a year. Touring and concerts  
take up so much time and effort it leaves him drained and tired. His  
meaning of life has left him alone.  
  
I've lied / to you  
  
The same way that I always do  
  
This is / the last smile  
  
That I'll fake for the sake of being with you  
  
Matt's grip on his guitar tightens as his heart does a sudden lurch. His voice quavers but doesn't loose the beat. Yes he was tired of living this life. His life was the life of lies. He was tired of smiling in front of the cameras when he wanted to break down and cry. He was sick of always on the move, flying to country-to-country or driving by bus state-to-state, province-to-province. He had a life where if he took a step outside he has people grabbing him, yelling staring, cameras flashing and journalists waiting for him to make a mistake so they could tell the world about it. He didn't have the time to be himself or the courage to reach out for help. He's pushed his band members away, telling them he was fine. Doesn't say a word to his family or friends when he talks to them by phone. They believe he's living it up, enjoying the famous life but now he's tired of living a lie.  
  
Everything falls apart / even the people who never frown / eventually break  
down  
  
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie  
  
Everything has to end / you'll soon find we're out of time left / to watch  
it all unwind  
  
The sacrifice is never knowing  
  
Why I never walked away  
  
Why I played myself this way  
  
Now I see your testing me pushes me away  
  
Why I never walked away  
  
Why I played myself this way  
  
Now I see your testing me pushes me away  
  
I've tried / like you  
  
To do everything you wanted too  
  
This is / the last time  
  
I'll take the blame for the sake of being with you  
  
His blue eyes opened and flickered down to his wrist. His bandage was coming loose and the blood was trickling down his fingers and smearing on his guitar. He smiled lightly and flicked his dazed blue eyes to the crowd. He was out there somewhere, waiting for his shot. And that shot, would end Matt's life. At 26 Matt felt like life was over and paid a great sum of money to some random talented trigger-happy agent. So that was another lie, but to the people that's what it would look like. Reality though, it would tell a different story. For a year he's been stalked, threatened, even blackmailed though it wasn't severe. Each month he had to pay a certain amount of money to the agent otherwise his family and friends would be in danger. At first it wasn't bad. But personal encounters had made the case much more frightening. And today he was calling quits. He purposely held the money back and encouraged the agent to kill him. He could have ended his own life. An overdose of sort, or even went threw with the slitting his wrist but he never could do it. He couldn't leave his family and friends and let them know about his depression, his suicidal attempts or how empty his life was. His major regret would be not walking away, why he didn't get help. Why he didn't go to his family where he was loved, or to his friends where he was accepted. Why he lived this life day in and day out. He knew though, it was his fault. He would be the blame of everyone's pain after this night.  
  
Were all out of time / this is how we learn how it all unwinds  
  
The sacrifice of hiding in a lie  
  
Were all out of time / this is how we learn how it all unwinds  
  
The sacrifice is never knowing why...  
  
Matt's attention was turned to the low catwalk above, he saw a reflection of light. And he knew his time was really up. He knew that the gun was aimed on him. His fingers started to tremble and his voice was unsteady. He was nervous. He was nervous because this would be it. This was his last crowd, his last song. His last few minutes of fame and his last few minutes of pain. The battle against all of the pain would be over. He was going to give up. That's what he told himself any ways but his body had other ideas. He found himself swiftly moving to the side trying to throw off the agents aim. He felt the bullet tear threw his chest. His voice hitched to empty air, his eyes went wide. Matt kept his balance but he stumbled back. His hand found his way to his bloodied chest. Then his mind caught up with his surroundings. Fans were screaming in terror, running for exits and trampling others. Then he noticed the music stopped and his band members were closing in on him. Bodyguards were rushing forward, but it was too late. A second bullet flung him back, then a third sent him to the ground or maybe that was a bodyguard? The pain froze him, closed his throat up from screaming. His vision swirled but he could faintly notice someone ripping his guitar from him. In reflex he tried to grab it but it was already out of reach. And then, everything closed in on him. He lost touch with reality and slipped away, wondering why.  
  
Why I never walked away  
  
Why I played myself this way  
  
Now I see your testing me pushes me away  
  
Why I never walked away  
  
Why I played myself this way  
  
Now I see your testing me pushes me away  
  
pushes me away  
  
The end.  
  
Send me a review, include your thoughts and concerns and, what ever you want to say. I want to hear it. 


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